The Heart Has Its Reasons
by Bottlebrush
Summary: Who is the one person Tonks really loves, the one for whom she would do anything? Find out here. Set during HBP, shortly before Dumbledore's funeral. Not a romance.


Title: The Heart Has Its Reasons

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter world or its characters. J. K. Rowling does.

Summary: Who is the one person Tonks _really_ loves, the one for whom she would do anything? Set during HBP, shortly before Dumbledore's funeral.

**A/N: **I believe this interpretation of events is armour-plated, and will withstand anything canon throws at it. Time will tell.

"I'm sorry," Tonks said, when they had left the hospital wing and found a quiet place for a private talk. "I didn't mean to be quite that embarrassing. But…… Remus, look, I thought you were a man of your word."

"I try to be," Remus answered soberly. "Sometimes it's necessary to break the letter of the word in order to keep the spirit."

"Are you trying to complicate things? Because it's simple. Last year, when I told you about……the situation, you offered to marry me. I didn't ask you for anything. You volunteered. On the strength of that, I told my mother. But then……I couldn't even go home for Christmas, because she'd have been asking me questions – why didn't I bring you to visit, when was the wedding date. How could I tell her that you've been avoiding me ever since and refusing even to talk about it? What's changed?"

"What's changed is that I know more now. A lot more about werewolves, how vicious and cruel they can be, even in so-called human form."

"Not you. You couldn't be like that if you _tried_. And Horace likes you. He'll make sure you get the Wolfsbane Potion every month, and I'll make sure you take it."

"I know. And it was never the danger from me personally that concerned me; we could work out the necessary precautions for your safety. I've been a werewolf for thirty years and I haven't harmed anyone yet. But there are some, and particularly those in Fenrir's pack, who really hate humans. They deeply resent it when a werewolf forms a close attachment to a human, and they will kill the human if they possibly can, to teach the werewolf where his loyalty should be. That's why I've had to distance myself from Harry this past year, and why I can't keep my promise to marry you. As my wife, you'd be in terrible danger from Fenrir and his pack, especially now that I've been seen fighting on the wrong side."

"I understand that. But surely, it's my decision to make? I'm an adult, an Auror, and we're _all_ in danger. I at least am trained for it. Shouldn't I have the right to take that risk for myself?"

"For yourself, perhaps. But what about me? You're asking me to take the risk of being the cause of your death, or worse than death. You know what they might do. They could torture you to death, or bring a Dementor to destroy your soul. How can you expect me to endure knowing that I let that happen to you?"

Tonks was silent for a long time, and Remus knew that she, too, was remembering the day last year when he had made his promise to her.

-oo000oo-

"Do you want to talk about it, Tonks? I can see that you're grieving. So am I."

"_Yes, but it's not what you think. It's my mum."_

_And Tonks poured out all her worry and sadness about Andromeda, the loving mother who had always said, when Tonks was a little girl, that her one ambition was to see her daughter grown up, in a good job and self-supporting. And when that happened, when Tonks qualified as an Auror, Andromeda rejoiced and set another goal; now she wanted to see Tonks happily married. Tonks had laughed off her mother's gentle questionings about boyfriends: "There's plenty of time for that". _

_Now, suddenly, there was no longer plenty of time; Andromeda was ill, and there was no cure. She had not long to live, and her desire for Tonks's happiness had become an obsession. She would die in sorrow, feeling she had failed as a mother._

_Remus, remembering the gentle, kind, beautiful cousin Sirius had taken him to visit in their carefree teenage days, acted uncharacteristically on impulse._

"I'll_ marry you."_

"_Oh, _would_ you? But no, I can't ask you to do that."_

"_You're not asking me. I'm asking you. And why not? I'm never going to want to marry anyone else, and you – if you find somebody, divorce isn't too difficult these days. Unless – unless someone like me would be unacceptable as a husband."_

"_Oh, mum's not prejudiced about werewolves. When she read about you in the Prophet, she just laughed and said she always knew there was more to you than met the eye."_

"_But does she know I'm gay?"_

"_Doesn't matter if she does. We'll pretend you're bisexual."_

"_And there's the little matter of me being old enough to be your father."_

"_No you're not."_

"_I am. I would have had to be rather more precocious than I actually was, but technically it would have been possible."_

_Tonks laughed then, and Remus knew his offer had been accepted. _

_But soon after that, he had to go and live with the werewolves, and to learn just how dangerous he really was._

-oo000oo-

Tonks looked up at last.

"Yes," she said miserably. "I've been selfish. I wasn't thinking about how it would affect you. I should – I'll tell mum it's off."

"How is Andromeda?"

"Very poorly." Tonks's eyes filled with tears. "She's in such pain, and she won't let go."

"And the Healers can do nothing?"

"Oh they could, they could give her potions that would relieve the pain and let her live a normal comfortable life for the time she has left, but she won't take them. They were honest with her, the idiots, they told her the potions might shorten her life – they estimate she's got about a year left if she doesn't take them, but a few weeks short of that if she does, so she's determined to hang on as long as she possibly can, waiting to see me married. Well, I'll tell her that's not going to happen."

"No. Wait. To hell with safety. We'll do it. If you're still up for it, knowing what could happen?"

"Of course I am. You won't change your mind again?"

"No. If we can't give some comfort and peace to someone who's dying, what's it all about? Fix the date, as soon as you like. And they've got spies everywhere, so there's no point in trying to keep it quiet. We'll do the whole thing, the white frock and bridesmaids and whatever."

"Oh yes, she'll love that. Some people would say it's a bad thing we're doing, making a mockery of marriage."

"They'd be wrong. People marry for all sorts of reasons – money and status, for two. But you're getting married for love. There's more than one kind of love, and your love for your mother is good and beautiful."

Tonks wiped her eyes and smiled. "I'll owl her right away. She'll take her potions now, because she'll need to be in good shape to plan the wedding. Just one thing, Remus Lupin: don't expect me to do the cooking and cleaning bit. That is absolutely not me."

"I won't. As long as you don't expect me to do the – er – conjugal bit."

"Don't even think about it. Deal?"

"Deal."

They shook hands.


End file.
